It Gets Better

Hello.

My name is Katie Jackson. I'm 18. I'm in college. I'm clincally deppressed.

Recently I've read about an increase in teen sucides. Mostly over persecution for being homosexual. It disgusts me that anyone could be so mean to someone that it causes their victim to kill him or her self.

Kids- I've been where you are. I just got out of high school. And people that age are cruel as they come, but please, please listen to me. Whether you are gay or straight, whether you're a boy or a girl, whether you're deppressed or just a little crazy, whatever is or isn't wrong with you... It gets better. It gets so, so much better.

At first your going to feel so alone, but I swear to you that there is someone out there to listen to you. Someone who cares. I care. If you can't find anyone else email me. katieisaninja@yahoo.com

Parents- There are certain things you need to understand. While you do need to let your child know that you care for them and support them you also need to know that you aren't always the easiest person to talk to. Let them know it's okay to talk to someone else... and always let them know you love them.

I know, this isn't my usual weirdness. This blog was intended to be about how we had to violate and murder maniquiens (I can't spell tonight) at work and that they have tattoos and one of them's a vampire, but then I read Carm's letter here on PNN. And I realized that in addition to my teacher-friend and my counsler, PNN and my girls was a great outlet for me. It showed me I could find people who cared in the most unlikely places.

I swear to you, it gets better.

Indiana

March of my freshman year of high school I was at the local flea market. A woman was there selling kittens. The pretty little siamese ones were purebred and $80. The half siamese was $10. I wanted one of the siamese ones, I thought they were so cute, but there was a little black mixed one that caught my eye. He was built, face and all, like a siamese, but he was jet black all over. His eyes were bright siamese blue too and had to have him.

After some badgering Mom agreed we could have him and Indiana Tucker became part of the family. He grew up long and slinky like a siamese and his eyes changed to a halloween cat green. Indy-cat loved to get in to trouble. He was also vain and a kleptomaniac. He'd gaze it himself in a mirror or steal money from Mom's purse. Once he stole photos of himself from my sister and we found him and the pictures laying under the bed. He thought he was a pretty kitty and he was right.

Last night when I went for my late-night walk Indy followed me. Now one of my dogs, Black Jack, loves to keep an eye on me and follow me as I walk, but Indiana just likes to eat. I didn't know why he was so eager to spend time with me and not his cat food, but I think maybe he knew.

When I came home today from school I saw Indiana sleeping in the yard near the driveway, but when I drove the car by he didn't get up. I was afraid he had gone and hurt one of his legs or something so I ran over to check him once I parked.

What I saw almost made me hurl. My beautiful little baby was there in the grass, head bloodied, and one eyehanging out. I'm sure that seems like too much detail, but that just happened 20 minutes ago, so I want you to understand why I still feel like I'm going to chuck.

I miss my little buddy. He was like my kid and I was his mom.

I love you Indiana Tucker.

Hello, This is Sanity Speaking

My first whole week of college has made me realize that even though I have zero boy experience I know more about them the the girls that have delt with them. Here are some things I wish I could sit some of the girls on campus down and tell them.

1. If you think about it, wearing that extra-short, extra-tight skirt and that low-cut top doesn't make you any happier does it? It doesn't make men want to stay with you for good. No one is going to want to buy the ice cream truck if you hand out popsicles for free.

2. You don't need him. A jerk is a jerk is a jerk.

3. He didn't love you before sex, why would he love you after?

4. He didn't loose your number. He didn't forget to call. He just doesn't like you.

I feel sagely.

This Story Involves a Toilet and I Can't Think of a Title

The hot sun was beating down on my head as I made my way from the parking lot to the student center. My bag was weighing down my steps which was annoying since I really had to pee. Inching closer to the student center I wondered who was in there with my friend Emily waiting for me to make an apperence. Luckily my least favorite creepy stalker* had gone to WVU instead of the super awesome Marshall.

Finally I reached the student center, my urge to use the bathroom growing stronger. I swear my bladder was going to go all Tycho Brahe. There were grpups of people scattered around the place and I hunted for my Emily-friend only to wish I could run. Sitting next to her was Lee, my second least favorite creepy stalker whom I only put up with for Emily because they're friends.

With a sigh I forced myself over there and sat my bags down on a couch next to them and asked them kindly to watch my things as I very swiftly walked to the bathroom. And just before I walked into the bathroom I saw this big group of guys walking into the men's restroom.

As I sat on the toilet I thought, "That was weird."

It's not unusual at all to see a group of girls go to the bathroom together. We travel in pairs or packs. It's how life works. To quote Jackie from That '70s Show, "Donna, bathroom, now!"

Men, on the other hand, don't travel in pairs or packs to the bathroom unless they're just a little bit attractd to other men or have a special reason too. It's just not how men function, generally.

I was only able to draw one conclusion:

There was a nerd in there with a pair of panties.

*In case you missed it only three types of men are ever attracted to me.
1. Creepers (creepers/ stalkers/ etc.)
2. Men who later realize they also like men
3. Creepers who later realize they also like men

HELP EMILY

Emily's wish is to make Explore on flickr. Please go to the picture and comment, fave, or just view. Anything will help her out.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/clarisnare/4857173877/

Random Thoughts from Train 51

Part II of "The Adventures of Katie"

So after a week of post-graduation boredom my bestest/ cousin Savvy and her older brother Alex headed to the Windy City. The train ride took 10 hours, but it was fun. Here's what I wrote while on the train to you all (Illustration of "Mr. Whiskers" to follow):

"

Ask the Ninja

More of the adventures of your favorite ninja-child are coming soon! 'Til then ask me crazy random questions!

The Adventures of Katie: Katie vs Graduation

I lost the tassle off my cap and had to find a new one within five minutes. My friend Josh had two. He gave me one. I didn't cry.

I listened as speech after speech about the last four years of my life. I didn't cry.

I walked across the stage, took my empty folder, shook hands with various officials, and got a folder containing my papers. I didn't cry. I didn't trip.

I watched my friends, enemies, peers, and people I never got a chance to know walk across the stage. I didn't cry.

I exited the center, hugging friends and looking for my family and tears began coming to my eyes, but I pushed them back.

Then I saw TF. We hadn't been speaking lately. He'd said things that had upset me and I was being childish, but I decided I wanted to leave on a good note so I went over to him. We chated for a minute and then he hugged me.

I found my way back into the empty super center. Walked over to my family. Sat down. And cried as hard as I could until my face was soaked and my body was shaking because every time during graduation I could have cried and didn't just built up inside me until that moment when my body had to let it all out.

It was over. It was just begining.

I'm Not Dead

I'm alive. I promise. I've just been busy. But I miss you all so a post of my assorted adventures will be coming your way soon. :)

I am Not a Fraction

"Warren Jackson is one half of who you are."
                                     -Glynis Cosner (my stepmother)

No. No he is not.

I am not a fraction.

I am Katie and only Katie.

I am snarky and funny and just a little bit weird in the most wonderful way.

I love running in the rain and playing baseball with my sister on burning summer days and stirring a big pot of melting chocolate.

I hate the smell of burnt popcorn, the Red Sox, and that look people give me when I randomly burst into song.

I can sing every state, cook Italian food like a pro, and get to the 8th level of Super Mario Bros. 3 without even playing levels 2 through 6 if I want.

I am not one half of anything.

I am all Katie.

I am not a fraction.

I'm so odd...

Me: Chicago is big... and full of rapists.

Savannah: We're not going to get raped.

Me: Oh, I wasn't worried about us. I was worried about Alex.

I Effin' Hate that Bitch

Yeah, I know, I'm usually the one telling people to watch their phraseology, but I p to the i to the s squared e-d off. For reals. My cousin Ben snuck me my brother's email address the other night. I couldn't sleep so in the middle of my late-night, pre-graduation (I didn't trip on the stage! It was today! Yay me!) X-Files-a-thon I emailed him:

     Dear Tyler, 

Pictures Yo

I'm using tumblr as my photo blog. I got one and I was like, "Um... I don't get it..." But I think it'll work for my photo-ness.

http://katieisaninja.tumblr.com/

My Semi-Secret Wish and Possible Employment

I have always wanted a Jane Austenesque, Regency era wedding.

I have designed bits and pieces of it on more than one occasion.

This is what my groom's outfit should look like. Note the sexy Mr. Darcy-like mutton chops I will beg him to grow. (I don't really care what the guy I marry looks like, but if he did happen to look like Darcy it wouldn't hurt. ;) )

I also had my bridesmaids figured out a long time ago.

But I had never found a Regency wedding dress that I loved. Never. Until now.

BEHOLD!

I don't plan on getting married anytime of soon, of course.

I've never been kissed or on a date, remember? And the only guys who like me are creepers. And even creepers stop finding me attractive once they find out I won't put out.

Anywho, so I applied for a job today at the library. Fingers crossed! :D

Last Day

I haven't posted as much as usual lately. I've been super sad about part of my life ending. I know that I'm also starting a new part of my life, but that doen't make this any easier. My last day of high school was last Thursday. And each and every time I hugged someone goodbye from my friends Aaron and Arynn to TF it felt like my heart was being ripped out.

I've spent the last few days finding ways to cope. Watching The Avengers  and The A-Team, dancing to Kenny Loggins, singing showtunes, cooking, swimming. So far I think I'm doing okay though... so far.